How to Save this Country

Hokay, to begin with you can’t trust politicians. At all. If one comes into your home is best to hide the silverware and take out your 2nd Amendment because these folks will nick the fillings out of your teeth if given a chance. In fact we can expand this law to pretty much all of the well to do upper class. If it is fat, old, white, and a man chances are your in trouble. Unless it’s Santa. Then your get presents. Kinda the reverse really.
Like Christmas taking over Thanksgiving, the ’08 presidential elections has taken over 2007, and a portioned out portion of the talk surround campaign financing and lobbyist. For those who don’t know, campaign financing/lobbying is when one group of sinister fat-old-white-men with infinite power (corporations) are giving another group of fat-old-whit-men with slightly less power (lawmakers) huge sums of money to do their bidding. Examples would be WalMart, the already castrated tobacco industry and PETA. Problems arise in this seemingly as innocent as a Norman Rockwell painting situation, because fat-old-white-men group B is technically responsible for the better welfare of all Americans who might not necessarily be fat, old, white, and/or men, not just F.O.W.M group A. This is what some in the liberal media might call “corruption” or “gross besmirchment of office”.
But wait there’s more. Technically bribery of elected officials is considered covered by the 1st Amendment, the one that keeps me from in front of a firing squad if I happen to forgot my 2nd Amendment that day. So how do we rectify the two?
I have a plan. Total Abiguity, by punishment of death. This is how it works; if someone agrees with a particular political candidate and wants to give $5, $10, $300,000 in vacation getaways, he can go for it. But in no way can the candidate ever learn, or those working for her know who gave her the cash/swimming-with-dolphins. This can be done through a third party group. If the candidate ever does learn by fault of either F.O.W.M. group A or be then they can be both considered as traitors to the republic (note: Treason is still a capitol offence). It’s like secret Santa but with a twist (I’ve got it on the mind today for some reason, shut up).
In fact you can extend that treason thing to any corruption (there are several definitions to ‘corruption’ I’m using all of them) of elected or appointed public offices. Hell, you can even extend that to all those CEOs who are exporting all our jobs to other countries and then paying those people jack diddally nadda.
Anyway my point is we should be able to have a total joy ride out of freedom of speech without any repercussions. Ambiguity. Free of all responsibilities for our actions. I should be able to call people on the street “Biyada[ch]oda” (you don’t want to know what that means in Russian) and then keep on walking. Isn’t that a dream world worth building?